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Aides to President Barack Obama have been complaining this
past of week of the President’s behavior during meetings. Speaking on
condition of anonymity, several high-level staffers have said that the President
has seemed distracted since being granted his super-secure blackberry device
this past week.
“He’s just always sitting there, not looking at anyone who’s
talking to him, just staring at that stupid device. He needs to
constantly be re-fed information, and he never gives any input – just sits
there button mashing.”
One aide detailed a meeting regarding the revisions to the
economic stimulus package that President Obama has been attempting to push
through congress. According to the aide, the President was looking down,
looking very frustrated during the entire meeting, leading several advisers to
believe that he was quite angry with them. It was only when President
Obama’s eyes grew large and he exclaimed “Alright! I got an extra life!”
that it became clear to everyone that the President was actually playing a
video game on his portable device.
“In some meetings, he’s even been playing games that require
sound,” said one baggy-eyed aide who claimed she had been responsible for
filling the President in on the happenings of a meeting he had attended.
“Before it was just Prince of Persia, and Soul Caliber, and stuff like
that. Now he’s playing Guitar Hero III during a meeting with the State
Department. I thought (Secretary of State) Hilary Clinton was going to
kill him! Fortunately, she seems to be a fan. I guess they
actually bonded over Rock Band, so that worked out. But still, I mean, is
he going to do this with foreign ambassadors? Not ALL of them are going
to be Mario Cart fans.”
Although the President playing video games during meetings
may be a somewhat new obsession, a recent interviewer with Obama Campaign
Manager David Plouffe revealed that the tendency for President Obama to become
distracted by his favorite device may have been a problem during the campaign.
“The President was always engaged with the campaign,” said
Plouffe during an interview with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer. “But there were
definitely times, when . . . well, you’d be talking to him, and he’d keep
saying ‘uh-huh’, ‘uh-huh’, ‘uh-huh’, and you’d realize that he was updating his
Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, he made a lot of progress showing
discipline with the blackberry over the course of the campaign, but I think
many of us were dismayed when we heard he was getting a super-secure blackberry
so that he could keep that thing in the White House. Seriously, it’s like
creating a super hard to detect strain of heroin so that an addict can take it
with him to work.”
“It’s even worse when (Vice-President) Biden’s in the room,”
said another staffer who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity but who
bears a striking resemblance to Deputy Press Secretary Bill
Burton. “The two are constantly smirking and giggling for the entirety of
a meeting. They keep looking beneath the table when other people are
talking, as if nobody in the room can figure out that they’re texting to each
other.”
“It wouldn’t be so damn insulting if they were sitting
farther apart,” continued the anonymous source who looks exactly like Bill
Burton. “But they’re like two people apart, and having sat in between
them before, let me just say it’s really awkward. I’m also more than a
little frustrated that – from what I’ve seen – when this stuff goes to the
presidential records act, it’s going to be chalk full of things like ‘LOL’ and
‘OMG u r so funny
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